One Year Left..What would you do?

Today is December 21, 2011. According to the much publicized Mayan Prophecies, we have one year to get our stuff in order. Whether you believe the hype, or not, or realize the Mayans were simply stating the end of their thirteen cycles and didn't think they should bother going beyond, I'm wondering, what would I do if I knew I had one more year.


At age 50, I've lived more than half of my life expectancy, which I guess is now somewhere between 74 and 78 for American women. Looking back over my life, I can't say I have too many regrets. I may not have lived an exciting life, but that's relative to each person's perception of exciting. I don't climb mountains. I've never done an Iron Man competition. I've never been to Europe. The only border I ever crossed was into Canada. I have never wanted to be a celebrity at anything. I am content that I've lived life the best I knew how to do it. I may not have been the best humanitarian but I tried to take care of my little piece of the world. 


What would I do with one year left? What will I do?  Keep things simple, just like I've tried to do most of my life. Love my family with all my heart. Appreciate the blessings I've been bestowed, even the things that don't seem so good, have their place. That's it. That's what I'm planning for 2012.

Last Ride of the Season

Mid-October my husband and I enjoyed a gorgeous Fall day, here in Southern Ohio, by taking our last bike ride of the season. Bike, in our terms, means our 2003 Kawasaki Voyager XII touring motorcycle.

We consider ourselves lone wolves out there on the road. We ride alone, not in a pack. We took up biking back in September 2002 when we jointly decided to buy a touring motorcycle instead of a pop-up camper. We'd been discussing how we wanted our empty nest years spent since our two sons were growing up and going their own ways. We'd been tossing around the idea of a pop-up camper or a touring bike. We'd always enjoyed our camping adventures with our two sons during their growing up years. We'd camped in tents,slept on the ground, cooked meals at a campfire, the works.But naturally, the older we got, the less either one of us found sleeping on the ground that adventurous or romantic anymore. More like torture. We thought the camper might be a good idea. We didn't really want to go the full RV route. To this day I am glad we chose the touring bike. Even on the short two hour rides we may get in over weekends, or on summer evenings, we've gotten more mileage and enjoyment out of that bike than we ever would have the pop-up camper. I don't think camping would have been the same without our sons anyway. It was something we did as a family. The bike would be for the two of us.

Touring bikes are considered old folks bikes, but that's OK. After all, I'm at that half century mark anyway, while my younger husband, by fifteen months, will hit the milestone in 2012.We've discovered that because we appear more "friendly" on our non-threatening, non-Harley, bike, people like to talk to us. We're not necessarily invisible when out there riding, but we're not intimidating either. Now come on, when you're honest about it, you know that people who ride Harley's have an image they enjoy. Period. We weren't going for image, we were going for a leisure hobby we could enjoy together.

There's really nothing to compare to riding along the rolling hill roads of Southern Ohio and Northern Kentucky. Beautiful scenery. No traffic to worry about. Back roads to investigate. Time becomes unimportant as long as we get back home in time to feed our animals.

So, when your "invisible" years approach, find something to do that you can look forward to. Something that gives you a spark. For my husband and myself, our shared hobby in our Age of Invisibility is a touring bike. 

Just Do It! Walk the Walk!

I decided to start a walking program. Mainly because I've noticed my strength and stamina have diminished so much over the past couple of years, and at fifty, I realized I needed to do something. I've been frustrated and increasingly depressed that the physical activities I enjoyed doing have become harder. I've found myself turning away from doing them.

I have two horses. I waited for these two "loves of my life" (don't worry, my husband knows he fits in the people category) until I was forty-three and our sons were grown. Yes my husband and I were young by today's standards when we married. We met at the local community college and married when I was 21 and he was 20, but that's another life story. I've found myself reluctant to work with, or ride, my horses much the past year because my energy levels are really low. My stamina is non-existent. I would fit myself into the moderately active category most of my life. When I was a kid I swam on a swim, played tennis, marched with my high school marching band. As an adult my husband and I enjoyed outdoor activities, camping, and hiking with our growing sons.

Granted, I was diagnosed a Type 1 diabetic in my mid-thirties and manage that with an insulin pump. I do have my ups and downs. I had thyroid cancer in 2008, but by now, I've reasoned, I should be physically active more than I feel I am able to. 

My husband and I live on a sixty-plus acre farm, most of which is hill and forest but we have about 10-15 acres for the horses and us. We spend a great deal of time with farm type upkeep. Some days, it's all I can do to clean the horse's "room". This lack of physical energy is not how I envisioned the next half of my life after fifty.  My dad was very sick and passed away in 2009. I am an only child and my parents needed me, which brought on it's own stresses for a few years. But all that is behind me now.  Is this lack of stamina physical? Is it medical? Is it how I'm suppose to feel after 15 years of being a Type 1 diabetic and having had thyroid cancer? Is it because I'm now over fifty? I am very confused at my body's  defeating attitude!

So, at the end of September I told myself the least I could start doing is start walking. We have a 15 minute short trail that winds back through the woods on our property. I've been very regular for the past three weeks. Daily, my two dogs take me a walk. Most days I've been going twice. If all I have to do is walk, then maybe my stamina will return. On rainy or winter days I'll ride my stationary bike. I just bought a DVD that's suppose to be roads and trails from the state of Washington to help pass the time so the 30 minutes isn't so boring. 

I've also decided to go see my family doctor. I see my endocrinologist every 3-4 months for the diabetes and thyroid but I admit, I don't like to go to a regular doctor if nothing else is wrong. I haven't been to my family doctor since '07 because I've had no need which I see as a good thing.

But if just walking can give me an increase in health, stamina and strength then I figure, why not? It's something I can do and my dogs enjoy feeling useful. They really do think they're taking me for a walk. Now, when the "girls" see me with my walking stick, or their leashes, they are eager to get going. I walk with them free in the mornings and then on leashes in the late afternoon before they're put up for the night. 

I do feel better when I walk. I've never been a runner. I admire my daughter-in-law who was a cross country runner and still likes to run, but it's just not something I've ever been able to do or enjoyed. Looking back, I've either walked, or rode a bike, so that's what I'm going to do. I also found really good DVD for Wii, it's yoga (titled New U Yoga & Pilates workout) and I'm impressed with the interaction. It can be done at any level.

I've learned the hard way that as you age if you don't use it, you're going to lose it, especially your body. I watched my poor dad decline quickly because he couldn't even get out to walk due to his health problems. He had been a big, strong, athletic football player in his younger years. So, the mantra should be for those of us at the half century mark, keep moving, in some way because it sure is hard to catch up once your body has been at rest for any length of time. I'm hoping a simple walk in the woods will be what my body has been waiting for, and it sure couldn't hurt anyway.

No problem with No Thank You

Recently, I had to call a 1-800 number to activate a new credit card. Much to my dismay, after plugging in the card's number, I was transferred to a customer service rep. Just what I'd hoped to avoid. Really irritates me because I know I'm not going to want anything they're offering. I don't keep running credit card balances these days so I see no need for the balance insurance they're pushing. Anyway, I decided to be nice. I realize the woman on the other end was doing a job and probably ran up against negativity often. I simply allowed her to go through her script and at the end politely said "No, thank you, I'm not interested."

Now, in my world NO means I'm done. I mean what I say. Of course that's not how it is in her world so she moved on with script #2. I did interrupt her this time and said, one more time a little more solidly, I thought, "NO, thank you. I AM NOT interested." At which point she continued right on and I had to interrupt yet again.My face warming, my blood pressure rising a smidgen.The older I get the easier it's become to say NO and mean it the first time around, unfortunately,when my request is being ignored, I do tend to get a tad exasperated with the other party. I could hear her voice change from eagerness to complacency and then finally thanking me for my time and the call mercifully ended.

This episode got me to thinking how much easier NO comes with age. I honestly don't care anymore what the other person thinks of me during these types of phone calls.  After all, I don't know the person on the other end, they don't know me and once we're disconnected, that's the end of our short life connection. I know what I want and what I don't want. I'm not wishy-washy. Years ago, at times, I'd want to be nice because I was trying to show I was an adult, I guess. Not really sure. It's not that I'm not nice now, but I'm more forceful in my opinions and my actions when it comes to me. This may come from "Gray Power" or it may be a personality trait that evolved over the years. 

As I see it, one positive aspect of moving to fifty and beyond, at least in my world, is feeling the empowerment of saying NO, meaning it, and not feeling guilty about it.

A Little Fun..Who's the Best Lookn' President?

My soon to be daughter-in-law posted this website and it gave me a few laughs. The text under each picture is very entertaining!

Sexiest U. S. President

Personally, I liked Grant. Not his drinking problem but who could seriously blame him after what he went through in the Civil War? 

Washington was on the top of my list too. He was very tall, a commanding leader, and rode a white horse, at least in some of his pictures. When I looked this fact up, hoping to learn the name of the famous white horse, I discovered his favorite horse was actually a sorrel named Nelson. The white horse often seen in paintings was possibly his other favorite named Blue Skin. Ah, the goodness of the internet, facts at a finger tip!

My third pick was Theodore Roosevelt, though I'm not a fan of his politics, that's beside the point. The man was a true outdoorsman but I have a feeling probably rough around the edges and wanted things his way or no way.

I have never understood the appeal of John F. Kennedy or Bill Clinton. Now, I understand that Mr. Bill is a really sweet personality from both female and male accounts, but as far as physically....not in my book. Kennedy, I just never got it. I'm thinking because he was young at the time and forever etched in our history that way.

It was an amusing way to look at all our past and present presidents!

Sooooooo

So, I started this blog with the intention of simply voicing my opinions, my trials, my observations of being a woman who turned fifty this year. So far, looks like I'm not doing such a good job at keeping it going, but hoping to change that. Put myself on a schedule. It's not that I've had some new revelations, deciding there's not much going on for women over fifty, I just didn't want to gripe. Some days, that seems there's all there is and I at least want to be positive sometimes. My thoughts today, are sort of in the middle.


I've made an observation on several occasions, concerning women, and how families or loved ones set up their obituaries. Maybe it's just my issue but nonetheless, I'm guessing plenty of women my age may feel the same way. Last weekend one of my husband's cousins passed away, she was fifty five. I read her obit today. One item jumped out at me like a very sore thumb, her family listed her as a homemaker. Now, if you are happy and thrilled with that title, and there's no reason a woman shouldn't be if that's how her life was fulfilled, I would say it was an honor. However, if it's used just because the family didn't know how to define her life, didn't really know her very well, and it's used as a filler, then I find that sad and condescending, which, knowing the family, and this woman's life situation, it seemed to me they took the short cut.


I have warned my sons, and my husband, that if they must write up an obit for me one day NEVER, EVER, even consider putting down "she was a homemaker". I have never considered myself one. It was never a goal for my life. Yes, I have a wonderful family. I raised, along with a super husband, two fantastic sons. But I never, ever, considered myself a homemaker. Some women are perfectly fine with that description of their life, I am not. It's not that I've done great things in my life, but if I were listed as a "homemaker" in my obituary it would be a great big lie anyway. I've always managed to find things to do with my days and hours, when I quit working in the outside world, that had nothing to do with home making, or whatever that term homemaker really means. 

I pride myself that I graduated from Ohio University in 1988 with a BS degree while taking care of our two sons. It wasn't easy and took me ten years to complete, but I finished what I started. I've worked at a few things in my life, substitute teacher, lab tech, librarian, children's horseback riding instructor. I love animals, especially my two horses. I waited for them until I was forty three. I'm a writer and a reader. I'm a loving wife and best friend to a wonderful man I've had the good fortune to share the last 29+ years with. I think I've been a good mom to my sons. My husband and sons are the dearest people in the world to me. I love the life my husband and I have carved out over the years. But, I've never considered myself a homemaker.


Maybe I go on a little bit too much about this. But in my fifth decade, I hope my family knows that there's been more to me than they could probably ever put into a few paragraphs in an obituary. And I was thinking that for my husband's cousin, there was probably more too. The two descriptive lines about her life, "She was a homemaker. She graduated from (name of school) in 1974." seemed so empty to me. I thought they could have done a better job to celebrate her life, regardless of the hardships she'd encountered.


I realize it sounds like I'm demeaning the label homemaker. That's not my intention. But I believe sometimes, it's used loosely when no one can figure out what to say about a woman, especially an older woman.


So, the older I get the more these kinds of things seem a little more important to me. How our lives are defined can't be summed up in the paragraphs of an obituary, that much is certain. Our individuality goes beyond a couple of descriptive words but those words should be chosen wisely by the loved ones left behind, if they haven't already been chosen by the one who has passed on.

I like what my husband said about his cousin, he remembers her as having a good heart and being a caring person, despite the troubled adult life she'd led. Feelings like that you can't get from an obit.

Graying Hair

Graying hair makes a woman invisible.That's my observation. But you know, what, I don't care anymore!

I colored my hair since I was about 35. Kept it an auburn. I do have a reddish tint to the brown anyway. Had some blonde highlights a couple of times over the years. Never could get used to seeing myself in the mirror with those highlights. Always went back to a darker tint. But the past few years,I got tired of the coloring bit. I decided when I turned 50 this March, that was it! No more coloring. My hair is going to be what it's going to be. It's actually a feeling of release. It's not that I don't care about how I look, it's that I do care about how I feel and I am tired of the hair coloring upkeep. I'm not a celebrity who can get her hair touched up every four weeks so why keep fighting it?

Some women color their hair after fifty because they feel it makes them look younger. Honestly, it depends on the hair color, depends on the hair style, it depends on the woman's coloring, and it depends on the woman. Who am I to say they're wrong? If it makes them feel younger, then maybe in the process they do look younger. 

I take the other road. I've been low maintenance all my life and hair coloring was probably the most extensive thing I did for myself. That, and a little mascara. I've never been into make-up. I have good skin due to genetics. That aside, giving up the hair coloring this year makes me feel good because it helps me feel free. Unconfined. Non-conformist!  I'm not dictated by my graying roots anymore. Life after fifty should be about more freedom and that's my statement with my graying hair.

So it seems to me the Age of Invisibility can actually set a woman free!